I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
is it fun? or sober?
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
Randomize
