Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
Dude true life I died at the derby...I lost everyone I knew, went down a bourbon and mud slip and slide, lost my hat, fell off the roof of a porta potty, sprained my ankle and knee and then got arrested.
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
Have you ever drank bourbon in your underwear while wearing a Santa hat and reflecting on the decisions of your life? Asking for a friend.
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
Randomize
