Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
If making out with three guys at once at a Kesha concert while simultaneously smearing glitter all over yourself doesn't convince her you're gay, nothing will
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
Randomize
