I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
To the woman who just heard me unscrew my flask in the Denny's women's bathroom at 10am: discretion isn't required but greatly appreciated.
Did you at least share?
Randomize
