eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
Dude you called me last night to let me listen to you piss in a cup and drink it. Just making sure you survived
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
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Look, I said I'm sorry. In the shower, "are you happy to see me" sounded just like "could you please pee on me". Honest mistake.
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
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They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
You kicked my dad IN THE NUTS right when he walked in.
Sorry, man. Thought he was a cop.
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
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