he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
Randomize
