she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
Thanks to a bad fart decision during a production meeting, I am now on my way to Target to buy new pants. How is your day?
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
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