saw you had $9 in your checking acct, left $20 on your dresser so you won't be a whore this weekend
also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years
Not as covert as you thought huh?
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
Randomize
