Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
Do you have any cake mix? I kind of need to make a "im sorry i drank all your parents tequila, threw up all over your floor and slept with you boyfriend" cake.
cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
remind me to get a blood sugar test this week. I'm pretty sure I'm a mojito away from diabetes.
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
The only things in my fridge are almond milk, Smirnoff Ice and chicken noodle soup. I'd say I've done mama proud.
You HAVE to stop telling me about the shit you do drunk. I can't be both your brother AND your gay friend.
It's no shave November. This is our time.
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
Randomize
