making cat noises will not fix the situation.
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
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