I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
I'm on the toilet with no toilet paper. When are you coming over? I'm contemplating on just staying here until you arrive.
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
My Sexting was not on an AP level
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
Randomize