i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
I called the bar to ask if they found my Id and credit card and they remembered me as 'the girl who signed her receipt in blood'
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
In 30 minutes I will have been sober for an entire month. Time for a celebratory lap of cheap alcohol that leads to early liver failure.
But happy liver failure. That's what counts.
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
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