found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
wow, being home for Xmas is freaking weird on tinder. I went to high school with everyone I'm matching... The fact that this many jocks like me now is a huge ego boost from my lack of glory days.
...and I'm done. I just matched two boys I used to babysit without realizing it.
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
Randomize