I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
I woke up this morning really drunk with my Christmas lights on and two owls in my bed.
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
Nothing like pulling a bottle of vodka out of your purse at 7am in the security line to make your fellow passengers uncomfortable...
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
Im part way to drunk.
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
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