i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
I'm pretty sure I lit a prostitute's cigarette while sharing a pizza with a homeless guy last night
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
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