I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
I showed him my bush... on skype.
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
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I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
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