i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
While the bouncer was checking my purse, he found a bag of pasta noodles in it and asked me why I put them in my purse. I said to him: "So the guy knows I can cook."
I was hammered helping a pregnant woman at the gas station name her unborn child. We had to try everything with two different last names because she was waiting on the results of her paternity test.
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
My ovaries melted while we were talking. I almost told him I would suck his soul out through his dick
That would be a memorable parent teacher conference for sure
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