We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
Woke up naked on my floor covered in cookies. We should celebrate fake hurricanes every weekend.
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
just caught myself putting beer in the oven and pizza in the fridge. i should be a trainwreck by tonight.
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