I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a Chick-Fil-A breakfast sandwich. How's your Monday?
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
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