I don't remember. Are we still dating?
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
Randomize
