Well douche your snatch and let's go!
we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
Randomize
