Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
She told me she brought a guy home but that he looked pickled. And no, that's not an autocorrect.
Hahahah pickled
I asked her what she meant and she said that he looked like he had soaked in water.
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
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