wat bout pragnant strippers??
On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
Toaster
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
We thought it was a good idea to send a picture to our HS science teacher where she's smoking a joint and I'm holding a monkey, and he invited us to lunch. NEW LEVEL UNLOCKED.
I can't. I'm not drunk enough for this information.
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
I am literally so hung over that I just opened up my emergency kit, got out a survival meal replacement bar and ate it.
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
Randomize
