She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
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