I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
I consider it a successful poop when you only have to wipe once.
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
Classy. Drunk on alcoholic "energy drink" at work before 8 am on a Tuesday. Between that and hanging out in bars with no pants on, your life is beginning to sound like a Bukowski novel.
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
Leaving my wallet at work and not going out to drink tonight...SIGN FROM THE UNIVERSE.
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
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