The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
You do realize that you tried to eat the neighbors cat because the dominos guy was 5 minutes late. You would have succeeded if we didnt stop you.
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
She sprinted out of the bathroom and ran all the way into the middle of the street. Five minutes later she came back with a banana nut muffin. She's that kind of drunk.
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
last night I used snow as a chaser
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