just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
I'm about to eat a honey mustard chicken salad on the toilet while I try to shit. You really think I care about what "kind of guy he is?" The fuck out of here.
If you don't care, I don't. Good luck finding prince charming.
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
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