I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
The coffee and champagne are fighting over who gets to absorb the one pancake in my stomach
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
What are you doing St Patricks day? I'm banned from all work parties with open bar ever since the cinco de mayo party that I dumped a drink on my co-workers head and played air guitar on my boss' ankle cast.
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
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