And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
Randomize