He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
it was like having sex with a tree stump
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
Randomize