It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
I had a dream that chipotle was out of burritos... Was more like a nightmare.. Gotta go make sure it wasn't real now
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
I think drunk me saved him in my phone as "beautiful man" to play a joke on sober me
Randomize
