Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
As your boyfriend, I'm gonna congratulate you on winning that fist fight. But as a cop, I have to tell you to not do that again.
Randomize
