I just feng shui'd our living room furniture. You may be mad in the morning
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
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