The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
Randomize
