Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
21 Dirty Secrets From Bachelor/Bachelorette Parties That Have Destroyed Marriages
I made her a sippy cup with eggnog and whiskey. My meditation app told me to go the extra mile for someone today, so I did.
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
23 Fathers Confess The Best Way They’ve Messed With Their Daughter’s Boyfriend
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
It's 1pm, she's in the shower, I don't have the guts tell her I wasn't her blind date. Someone got stood up.
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this