Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
Just realized the fur coat I am wearing to the wedding is the one I had sex with the groom in
23 Bisexuals Confess The Biggest Differences Between Dating People Of Each Sex
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
These 25 Ruthless Teachers Embarrassed Their Students
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.