My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
Randomize
