She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
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