Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
Dude, I checked into a cathedral... I thought it was a joke, until I found a candle and a whole bunch of coins in my purse
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
I want an apology pizza with SORRY IM A DOUCHE spelled out on it in pepperoni
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
PANTIES FOUND
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