if any two of us come back from the bar and aren't getting laid we will systematically destroy everything in the kitchen
Telling her that my penis is called megatron was not a good idea for a first date.
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
The best walk of shames are on the highway
Randomize