are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
Dude, I just spun my iPhone on my boner without it falling off. I belong in cirque du soleil.
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.
After I asked for my 6th Gin & Tonic, the look on the flight attendant's face started to make me feel bad about myself.
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
My vagina just clenched in fear
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
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