What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
Randomize
