I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
my dad just beat the shit out of me cuz i blew my nose on one of my dirty t shirts and he saw it and thought it was cum.
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
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