after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
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