this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
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Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
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Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
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