The only thing I've had to eat today was the half eaten sausage biscuit I found on my chest when I woke up this morning.
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
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