I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
Randomize
