went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
Why I hate online dating: not even one day in and a 57 year old asks me to call him "Daddy."
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
Randomize
