Taylor Swift is so right about you.
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Randomize
