i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
My dog misses eating marshmallows out of your butt when you're passed out. That bordered on sex abuse, now that I think about it. My bad.
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
Celebrated Veteran's Day by getting a Marine (who just got back from deployment in the middle east) drunk and laid for the first time in 6 months. #Murica
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
I was doing handstands in the jail cell and crying “IM A HIGH SCHOOL TEACHER AND IT’S CHRISTMAS EEEEEVE”
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
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