Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
I just did a drunk experiment to find out what it looks like when you turn a burner on the stove on while wearing night-vision goggles. I may be blind in my right eye now.
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
WHY DID HE INTRODUCE ME TO HIS MOM? CAN'T HE JUST HIDE ME LIKE EVERYONE ELSE I'VE EVER DATED?@!
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
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