I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
Do you realize that we tried to rent a limo at 5am to come and take us to waffle house?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
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