Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
I'm sober enough to question why I have your name as "the wolverine" in my phone.
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
I literally got so drunk last night, I texted myself "porpoises" and that was it. I have no recollection of this.
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
Randomize
