no, he came in my armpit
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
Just found out that his ringtone for me is a train blowing bc and I quote 'I know when you call I'm getting laid'
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
I lost the right to judge tonight
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
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