It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
Dental hygienist just pulled two flakes of glitter out. And asked me how i've been doing with the divorce.
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
Randomize
