I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
Masturbating after my cheeseburger. It's unavoidable.
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
Randomize
