Whoa!!! Accidentally took a dump in chick's bathroom at Red Robin. 1 hr for coast to be clear. Women's farts sound like geese taking last breath. Liars.
I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
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