when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
Randomize
