If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
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